I've never felt so alone

Its so tough. To hear your best friend tell you that you can't be friends anymore. It crushed and killed me.
I'm alone quite literally. And its weird. Its like, I don't want to be alone but yet I do. I'm scared to let anyone else in. Because who knows what they'll do to me.

I'm confused about my meds. I can't sleep but if I don't take them ill get all suicidal. I just long for a good nights sleep that's all.

God, if you read this, help. I'm dying over here. I need deliverance. I need some divine intervention. I cannot save myself!

i had a dream

I always seem to have dreams every single night and I can remember them all. They're always bad. About suffering sadness and oppression.

This one was different. It felt like I was in a fairy tale. That I had to do anything and everything to win this girls heart. And I did it. I fought evil solved riddles and eventually I put the ring on her finger. Doesn't matter who she was. But it was so saddening to wake up. I wish I could sleep forever and enjoy what was. When will my dreams if ever come true?

I told my best friend the other day she was a dream come true for me. Far from it though. Because I ended up waking up just like every other time. I used to be important and special. I'm not anymore. And I give up. Because this isn't worth it. I thought she was worth it but I mean am I worth it to her? I don't think so.

I told her I was sad. Told her I need her and she isn't here. Some guy she has known for barely two weeks is suddenly more important. Makes ya feel pretty good. I'm not mad. I'm just so sad and hurt. I actually believed she wouldn't be like everyone else. I should know better by now shouldn't I?

Your not my best friend anymore I hope you know. A best friend wouldn't do this. Ill see you at underoath.